nz mum blog

Don’t tell my husband/partner I bought this…..

If I had a $1 for every time I heard this phrase I’d be a millionaire. Christmas is coming up, there are sales and you’ve got your inbox is being assaulted full of best EVER sales just begging you to BUY BUY BUY! There is one phrase which makes me feel gutted to read from my peers and that is the “don’t tell my husband/partner ” that I bought this….

It bums me out to read this, because when we did marriage counselling (the church asked us to do it before we married there), they said communication is 100% key to a happy relationship – now I’m no expert but in 10 years of relationship and 6 years of marriage I know hiding things from your partner never is key to them being too chuffed when they suddenly see the credit card statement and it’s maxed out.

Communication is sharing things together and if you feel you need to hide it from your partner then chances are maybe you shouldn’t be buying it in the first place? Maybe they are a Scrooge (yes I joke Bruno is) but honestly he has kept our head above water and not in debt because he is one and I’m more keen to impulse buy glorious things!

There is a difference between buying them a surprise present for Christmas and buying new things every week which you are hiding from them & sadly I see this too often online where people are joking about it online.

We have a rule in our house which is if it’s over $100 we need to run it past the other person. We have vocalised it and made an agreement and honestly, I don’t buy anything that isn’t a necessity (food, petrol etc) without talking about it together. Everybody has a different way with money, some have split accounts so that’s cool if you have that situation, what I’m talking about is having open communicating together so you aren’t hiding things from each other. We don’t have heaps of spare money so if you have all the MONIES definitely go nuts – I mean if I was rich I’d be totes buying a boat and laying in Fiji with Mohitos, but I’d still be running it past my husband as we are a team and we do everything together.

A bit of a deep blog today, but it has been weighing heavily on my mind with the lead up to Christmas…it isn’t having a go at anyone or to make anyone feel bad just to bring up a discussion as I want you to have a really awesome Christmas with the people you love and not be arguing after Christmas once the credit card or bank statements arrive -PEOPLE, over THINGS… is what’s the most important!